Don't Get Afflicted

Goldie Barajas

English 1B

1/1/11

Don’t Get Afflicted

            The selection “Predators” from the memoir The Mee Street Chronicles: Straight Up Stories of a Black Woman’s Life by Frankie Lennon, is focused on the protagonist’ exposure to discrimination against same sex attracted individuals. The protagonist is exposed to this discrimination through the negative effects of the “Save Our Children“ campaign of 1977, on society and people around her at Allen’s, her favorite bar, in Evansville, Indiana. This campaign is headed by celebrity singer Anita Bryant and discussed in the CBS Evening News by its anchorman, Walter Cronkite, while the protagonist is at the bar having some drinks . In this selection, the protagonist would be the narrator and the antagonist would be society including Allen and the people at the bar opposing to same sex attracted people having equal rights and considered normal. These are not the only characters though, there is also the narrator’s inside voice that plays a major role in the narrator’s reactions to the remarks of discrimination being made at Allen’s and there is Sonny, who happens to visit the bar not very often. But the day he did, he said an offending comment towards lesbians that angered the protagonist enough to make her want to speak up the truth about herself and defend same sex attracted people. “Predators” is a narrative about the protagonist’ struggle on whether to show her real identity or keep hiding it in The Corners, which is the back of her mind, in which her repressed memories or better said her repressed identity was hiding.

            As far as the conflict driving the narrative’s plot I would say it is an inner and person vs. a social force conflict. Inner because throughout the narrative the protagonist is being tested by her own self. The protagonist is struggling with her own fear of coming out to her friends and society for horror of not being accepted and not belonging to the group of friends she belongs to. The fear of not belonging leads her to take in the disrespectful comments being made in the news and by people in the bar about same sex attracted people. Although, these comments anger her she does not act upon them because her fear and the voice inside her point out to the protagonist what would obviously happen if she spoke up, and said she was a lesbian. What would happen would be that society would consider her a freak, dislike her, and she would have to run away from Evansville due to the fact that she would no longer be considered normal and she would not belong there anymore. Fear is not the only reason she does not speak up though, it is definitely the fact that she values belonging to a place and fitting in that makes her step back, stay quiet and take it all in.

            Moreover, another important conflict driving the narrative’s plot is the person vs. a social force conflict. The conflict being between the protagonist and discrimination (social force) against same sex attracted individuals. The campaign “Save Our Children” headed by Anita Bryant really throws off the protagonist because it is having such a discriminatory effect on society, which is making everyone ignorant and think that same sex attracted people are freaks, should be banned from having equal rights, and are considered pedophiles. As Sonny, one of Allen’s customer states “If you ask me, all those women need is a real man that knows how to lay the pipe right!” (pg. 162) this serves as a perfect example of how ignorant people are becoming that they cannot realize women and other individuals don’t have the choice of whether to like men or women, they just do. But the narrator does not have the guts to open up to everyone and give her perspective on the subject because she is too afraid, this making her weak and too much of a conformist. These character traits definitely serve as flaws for the protagonist since they stop her from breaking out from The Corners, and be able to live comfortably with who she is a lesbian. This leading me to conclude that she values the thought of people considering her being normal as well. She does not want to be seen as different or an outsider. She dreads the thought of being excluded from what society considers normal, man loving a woman and woman loving a man, only.

            Moreover, throughout the narrative I saw the themes of Anger and Fear manifesting. These themes are apparent through the protagonist’ fear of coming out and declaring she is a lesbian.  Now, Anger at the issue of same sex attracted people being discriminated and her not being able to speak up and defend them and herself since she is indeed part of them. Also, referring to the Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender Motifs List some motifs I saw manifesting in the narrative were Fear of Sexual Identity Being Discovered and Oppressed by Social Stigma. As mentioned already, the protagonist dreaded the thought of being discovered because that meant not belonging to society anymore, being considered a freak, not normal and this was due to social stigma in this case discrimination.

            It is surprising though to read this selection and realize that things have not changed at all yet. By reading “Predators” I learned that although we are in the 21^st century I still hear and see in many places where same sex attracted people are seen as contagious, not normal, or not worthy of God’s blessings. What I mean is that the author, Frankie Lennon wrote this book years ago, and I would have imagined for things to change up a bit since it seems that as years past by we should be progressing but we are not. Yes, technology is progressing but we are staying close-minded in some topics we rather avoid like talking about gay people. Instead, we are falling behind and becoming ignorant about what is visible and in my opinion normal. In fact, let’s put it this way love is a broad term with no rules or timing so if two same sex attracted individuals want to love each other then why not? At the end of the day what they are doing is loving each other as a man and woman would. It is all the same the only difference is their sex. Either way “Love is blind” isn’t it? So in my opinion it should not matter if a woman loves a woman or if a man loves a man, it is still love no matter what. Lastly, I would like to recommend this narrative to whoever wants to understand how being different from the crowd can afflict one’s mind. Through reading “Predators” I understood. Perhaps, society should understand but unfortunately it does not. 

Response to Place& Setting for “Memory: Mee Street and Beyond” from the book The Mee Street Chronicles: Straight Up Stories of a Black Woman’s Life by Frankie Lennon

Goldie Barajas

English 1B

1/18/11           

Response to Place& Setting for “Memory: Mee Street and Beyond”

from the book

The Mee Street Chronicles: Straight Up Stories of a Black Woman’s Life

by Frankie Lennon

            The essay “Memory: Mee Street and Beyond” from the book The Mee Street Chronicles: Straight Up Stories of a Black Woman’s Life by Frankie Lennon is a story that took place in the Truman and Eisenhower years, which were from the 1940’s-1960’s. During this time Jim Crow laws were in control, therefore, the narrator lived on the “black” side of Knoxville, Tennessee. Mee Street, was the location where the narrator’s first home resided, which is one of the places the writer decides to focus on. I, as a reader noticed this particular place is important to the writer through the description of the place she provides me with, through the narrator’s feelings and the usage of comparison and contrast between her first home and her second home in 1919 Dandridge Avenue. The narrator clearly states that once she moved to Dandridge Avenue she became “something of a loner, finding things to do in solitary…” (pg.5) compared to her first home in which her playmates were just across the street. In Dandridge Avenue, the narrator had “a huge front and back yard that her mother found spacious enough to host her church’s two week Vacation Bible School.” (pg.4) the narrator even had room for a dog she named Pudgy. Also, the narrator provides the reader with memories of her summers in Dandridge Avenue, some are: “the delight of getting to go barefoot everyday and wiggle my toes in warm grass…catching fireflies in a jar at dusk and trying to figure out how their tails lit up…”(pg.5)

            On the other hand, Memory is important to the writer. I know this because at the end of her essay the writer reveals to us directly that she wrote this essay based on the Knoxville she lived in which it is no longer around but yet lives in her remembering and remembering is part of her memory. Memory tells her and the reader the story of who she is. Therefore, in the end the impression or main idea I got from this place was that it is important to her because she simply remembers it. This place and her experiences there shaped her to write this essay, to think back and reflect on her childhood; and as I have always thought one’s childhood or past is the glossary to one’s book on one’s life.

Change for the Future

Goldie Barajas
English 1A
10/4/10
Change for the Future
One of the things that I criticize the most in people is when they exaggerate or create unnecessary drama about insignificant arguments. However, when it came to my own personal experiences with my ex-boyfriends, I was always the one to worsen the arguments by being dramatic. In my past relationships with boys, I noticed that not staying calm and exaggerating about an argument would make the argument worse rather than solving it. I would like my future relationships with boys to be healthier in the way that I can manage to control the dramatic side of me. Therefore, what I wish I could change about myself is the tendency to exaggerate when it comes to arguing with boys, with who I have an emotional bond with, because it triggers stress in me and it hurts the relationship.
Being dramatic about arguments with my ex-boyfriends was and still is stressful for me. I tend to turn a little argument into a huge one, which causes me to be stressed until I resolve it. When I am stressed it is difficult for me to concentrate and get homework or other tasks done. I feel frustrated and helpless at the fact that I cannot get my tasks done because I am thinking about what is stressing me. I want this cycle to stop because it is not healthy for me when an argument tenses me enough to impede me from accomplishing my daily tasks. Also, stress triggers me to be depressed, which is bad for my emotional health. I do not wish to feel overwhelmed by stress and so this is one of the reasons why I would like to change my tendency to exaggerate about insignificant arguments with boys.
In addition, the second reason why I would like to change my tendency to aggravate my arguments with boys is that exaggerating hurts my relationship with that significant other. When I turn a little argument into a huge dramatic one instead of creating a strong bond with that person, I create a weak one, which results in me complaining about the relationship. I am the kind of person that likes to feel secure when in a relationship with a boy. If there is a weak bond between that boy and me, then I am not secure enough and being with that person is hurtful for me.
My relationships with a significant other should be about enjoying one another to the fullest and being able to be happy most of the time. I realized I was not able to have that kind of relationship because of the bad habit I have of being dramatic about arguments too much. I would place unnecessary emphasis on the discussions I had with my ex-boyfriends, to the point where my past relationships were not healthy anymore. I am glad that I know what I wish I could change about myself because this empowers me to change that in my future relationships and keep myself from being constantly hurt and avoid unwanted stress.

My Unforgettable Daily Life

Goldie Barajas
9/20/10
English 1A
My Unforgettable Daily Life
Human beings thrive on learning. This may be one of the reasons mentors are present when one needs to acquire or gain certain knowledge. Mentors are those that teach people something unforgettable and meaningful. Mentors are wise and most of the time, leave an enormous impact on human beings. They are essential to those individuals that need to discover something, that will serve them eternally. I, personally, have learned and discovered various things from countless mentors in my life. Every little bit of what I have learned has been practical learning to my daily living. However, the most two important skills that I have learned, so far, have come from Dr. Alice, a counselor, I once met. Dr. Alice has been one of the most meaningful and influential mentors I have ever had, because she taught me time management skills and empowered me to not be afraid of being independent.
Time management skills are really important for me especially now that I am a college student juggling various roles in life. I am a student, an employee, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and most significant, I am a human being that has aspirations and dreams to fulfill. Before I met Dr. Alice, I could not figure out how to balance all of the tasks I needed to accomplish; I felt as if I was going to lose my mind sooner or later. It felt really overwhelming to realize I was not happy with what I was doing. I was not fulfilling every aspect of myself. I had to learn how to manage my time in order to accomplish every single thing I wanted to do and Dr. Alice was there to teach me how to make my twenty-four-hour day feel like a forty-eight-hour-day. She taught me how to do this by encouraging me to use a daily and monthly planner. This planner would remind me of my daily duties, allowing me to have a set schedule rather than going with the flow. Believe it or not, it was and is still very helpful to have a planner that tells me when it is time for homework, to eat, to relax, spend time alone, to explore and to spend time with loved ones. Time management skills have made my life extremely easier and I owe this to Dr. Alice. If it was not for her, I would have probably never learned that the basis for accomplishing everything I want is in managing my time correctly and in a healthy manner.
Additionally, Dr. Alice taught me not to be afraid of being independent. Being independent for some human beings is hard since we have been conditioned to depend on others from the moment we are born. We depend on our mothers to feed us and take care of us. As a result, trying to break out of the shell of dependence was harsh for me. It was difficult for me to understand that it was acceptable for me to let go of my mother’s hand in order to explore the world on my own. As time progressed, I felt some sort of guilt because I was becoming independent and needing less of my mother. I felt it was wrong for me to want to discover things on my own and to learn from my mistakes rather than having my mother protect me all the time. I wanted to be an independent woman and I felt that I could not accomplish this if I kept depending on my mother. This is when Dr. Alice taught me that being independent and letting go of my mother was not wrong because although my mother was not holding my hand anymore, she was still there to support me if things went wrong. Dr. Alice has taught me very well the ability to be independent, a lesson that I carry with me wherever I go.
I believe, what mentors teach you, are things that are supposed to be carried on into your future and be used by you in a positive way. Mentors do not exist and come to teach you something just for the sake of it. They appear in your life because you need them to appear. I needed Dr. Alice, so she was there for me at the right time to teach me time management skills and the ability for me not to be afraid of being independent. Dr. Alice has been a very significant person in my life. I will never forget what she has taught me, which is not a simple word or letter you learn in elementary. What I have learned from her are two important key factors that positively impact my daily life.

My Rodeo De Ayala

Goldie Barajas
English 1A
10/25/10

My Rodeo De Ayala
I was born in Los Angeles, California, a windy Thanksgiving eve, while my family took advantage of the fresh killed turkey cooked that evening. I grew up in the 1990’s, a time in which the puffy, curly hair, along with the cowboy boots, and red lip stick was in fashion. Rare? Not quite or at least I did not think of it as something rare when I was a child. Furthermore, during that time mom and dad were moving homes slightly often. Until the day they made the decision of my life, which was to move to El Rodeo de Ayala, a rancho, which for non Spanish speakers this means a village, located in Penjamo, Guanajuato, a state in Mexico.
All this moving business to El Rodeo de Ayala happened when I was in the second grade, in Eastman Elementary School. I was a 7-year-old speaking mostly English. I did not understand why we had moved and why people in this new place did not speak the English language at all. But what really appealed to me was the fact that I was going to live near and attend school in Corralejo de Hidalgo, a village in which Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla, a historic Catholic Priest, that contributed to the acquisition of Mexican independence, was born. I was thrilled by the idea of living minutes away from a historic place for Mexicans and it was even more exciting to attend school in this place. Growing up in El Rodeo de Ayala was better than I thought.
Although, El Rodeo de Ayala is an agricultural village surrounded by farms, and soil, with almost no roads because everyone travels by horse, this did not impeded me to find the rancho interesting. I found it fascinating that finally I did not have to watch for cars when crossing the streets and that I had my cousin as a next door neighbor. So, whenever I wanted to play all I had to do was walk a few steps, scream out “Monica, vamos a jugar”, which means “Monica lets go play” and there was Monica looking excited and messy with her light brown hair hanging down her shoulders. We would play for hours until the moon and stars would come to be visible at night. There was no need for adults to watch over us because everything around us was so safe and welcoming. The cows were in their place, the chickens were running away from us, and the pigs making that oink oink noise that I always found hilarious. Everyone in the rancho, even the animals were so mindful of their own business. No body there was considered a danger to the community. Everyone was a family willing to help anyone that needed help without a question or expecting anything in return. If it was really hot and a neighbor asked for some water, then water would be granted. If it was pouring with hail falling down the sky, which I loved to be hit by, and a neighbor was passing by then an umbrella or perhaps a cup of chocolate would be given to that neighbor. Selfishness was not frequently seen in my rancho.
In El Rodeo de Ayala the lifestyle people carried was all about working the farms for a better tomorrow but with little emphasis on education, which was upsetting to realize later when I grew older. People in this village were so generous, but ignorant about many issues such as the importance of education . Realizing that generosity was not enough to survive in the real world opened up my interest towards learning and its importance. Comprehending that it was crucial to get educated in order to better one’s self economically and mentally was something that shaped me into the person that I am today. If it was not for my parents moving to El Rodeo de Ayala maybe I would have never gotten the chance to have this realization that motivates me everyday; because everyday I remind myself that if I want to be a professional, like the teachers I had in my elementary school, I must go through college education. I do not want to be ignorant and remain silent, like the people in the rancho, when someone asks me a question that requires thought and some sort of education. Therefore, it is it is important for me to remember where I came from as I grow up the latter of education because this allows me to be humble and have the honest hard-working skills my lovely community from El Rodeo de Ayala taught me.

Unintentionally

Goldie Barajas

English 1A

11/15/10

Unintentionally

    Being a senior in high school was a pain in the butt. I remember other students, who were seniors when I was a junior, say it would be the easiest year of all but it sure was not. They lied to you my conscious mind would tell me. Nevertheless, I was not so worried about what my mind had to say. I was worried about the tasks I had to get done. Things were getting overwhelming, and I had to start up my college applications, pay my senior fees, worry about my prom dress, my prom date, my assigned year book pages, and the list can go on forever. But I remember leaving one important thing behind from my to-do-list and that was Ms. Solis’s final project, for the fall semester of my Economics class. The project consisted of planning our lives in the future, making budget decisions of how our money was going to be managed, and how we were going to support our selves. The project was basically what I called a “senior-over planning for his funeral.” No offense to anyone who likes to plan things out before time.

    Moreover, I hate Economics and having to do a project on such a subject was horrible. Thankfully I had Vanessa and Freddy as group members. Vanessa and I were inseparable in high school. I had her for all my classes and whenever it came to group projects we had to be teamed up no matter what. Freddy happened to be left out of a group so Vanessa and I decided to welcome him to ours. He was very funny and I like that about him. Anyhow, Vanessa and I were what people call “partners in crime” or should I say “partners in going against ordinary”. We do not like to be ordinary girls; we like to make everything different. However, this is not about how Vanessa and I are, the deal here is about what we decided to do in our Economics project. What we did marked us forever on the eyes of Ms. Solis who was disappointed at us.

    So, time passed, Vanessa and I were confident that the project would not take us long to be done. Freddy was very chill about this project as well. We procrastinated as much as we could until the day of the project was only 24-hours away from the due date. Then, we were shocked. We had nothing done! Not even an outline on how we wanted to organize our “senior-over planning for his funeral” project. Vanessa and I thought of this as being funny, like always, we never took anything seriously. Freddy did not even bother to offer his help. Vanessa and I ended up doing the project on our own that afternoon. I went to her house, since she only lives one block away from mine. We turned on her lap top but the very moment we did, we got distracted and instead we started eating  some cookies, Vanessa‘s grandmother had made the day before. It was so hard to stop eating those bean flavored cookies that Vanessa started getting upset at me for eating them all. I always had the advantage of getting more of whatever we were eating since although I eat slow Vanessa eats 3times slower than me. Sometimes I feel that instead of being a human she should have been born to be a turtle. Nevertheless, we noticed it was almost 6 p.m and we had spent an hour doing basically, nothing. We snapped out of our bubble of procrastination and said to each other “We have not done anything on the project yet!!” we laughed and giggled for about 5 minutes and then we put hands on into this boring, pointless project. We were done by 8 p.m. We were so confident about this project that nothing, according to us could go wrong.

The next day, which was a Thursday, we presented and Ms. Solis was very well pleased with our project. She thought of it to be one of the best ones but what she did not know was that we had plagiarized. Indeed, none of us knew we had done so. So how is it that we got to plagiarizing! I wondered, after getting caught by Ms. Solis.

It was a Friday afternoon, Vanessa and I were walking back home from eating Fish tacos, since we were out of school early, when Vanessa notices she had a restricted missed call that ended up leaving her a voice mail. We were laughing about something really hilarious, I don’t quite remember what it was but I do remember that Vanessa went mute as soon as she started listening to the voice mail. She stopped walking and put her phone on speaker so that I was able to listen to what had stunned her. It was a voicemail from Ms. Solis. In the voicemail she exclaimed about how upset she was that we had plagiarized on our final project thinking we could get away with it. I still remember what she said, her words marked my memory greatly because hearing this made my blood travel from head to toe at a fast speed and my mouth dropped down to the floor. I remember her saying something like “Vanessa and Goldie I am really mad and upset at you girls! How could both of you do this thinking you can get away from it so easily! I guess you girls thought wrong. I am not stupid enough not to see when a student plagiarizes and when a student actually does her work! Wow you girls made the biggest mistake ever. See you Monday in class…” I was like Wow is this really happening? God please tell me I am dreaming but I wasn’t dreaming this was reality and reality like people say hurts. Of course it hurt, I was worried more than ever about stepping foot in school on Monday. I could not help but wonder how in the world had we plagiarized. I was breaking my head trying to find an answer.  After this phone call all Vanessa and I could do was continue walking home.

The weekend had passed so fast, I thought. I could not imagine that it was Monday morning, already. I was death scared to go to school. I loved going to school because that meant I was going to be away from home and that I had the opportunity to hang out with my friends but this time it was otherwise, I hated the fact that it was Monday and my weekend was over. I was secure at home, now I sure wasn’t secure at school. I trembled and waited for Vanessa to get to school. I didn’t want to step foot into the lions cage alone. The bell rang and we went to class. Ms. Solis put a warm-up question on the board as usual and did not say a word to us. Isn’t she supposed to be mad and ask us to step outside to talk to us? I remember thinking. At the same time, I was glad she had not done so already because that fed my hope to thinking that maybe she will let this incident slide without giving us a punishment and that we can all be happy and continue with life. Silly me, I always wanted a happy ending. So, to test her I dared to say “Good Morning Curly Fry” with a nice glowing smile showing her that I was happy to see her. Curly fry was how Vanessa and I referred to her due to the fact that she had very curly hair and her hair reminded us of Jack in the Box’ curly fries. She replied saying “Good Morning Goldie, as soon as you, Vanessa, and Freddy finish with the warm-up let me know. We need to step outside” Darn it why did I have to open my big mouth. Silence is Golden Goldie why was it so hard to stay silent ugh I blamed myself for over minutes.  Freddy, that reminds me Freddy had no idea what was going on. He never found out about the voice mail Ms. Solis had left Vanessa so he knew nothing of what was waiting for him outside the classroom. Quickly Vanessa and I whispered and explained him what was going on. He was shocked and giggled for a moment while Vanessa and I were dying inside with nervousness.

We stepped outside and I noticed Ms. Solis was very calm compared to Friday but you could still sense the tension within her by staring at her eyes and looking at the soldier like posture she carried. She began by saying “So I am sure you all know why now you have stepped outside of the classroom. I don’t know how to start but I do know this was unexpected. I trusted you guys to do the right thing. What was so hard about this project that made you guys plagiarize?” ouch that word hurt my ears, it sounded so harsh, I remember thinking while she was waiting for an answer. Freddy broke the ice by saying “Honestly Ms. Solis I had nothing to do with this because I did not participate in the project at all. All I did was help them with the presentation. Everything was done by Goldie and Vanessa.” Damn Damn Damn I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He had washed himself away from any blame. What if none of this would have happened? Then he of course would fake that he helped in the project just to get credit right? Wow I was disappointed and mad at him, really mad. I snapped out of my thoughts and heard Ms. Solis say “and you girls have nothing to say?” I immediately answered with the truth, “Ms. Solis where did we plagiarize? I don’t know what you are talking about. Perhaps, I may dare to suggest this is all a misunderstanding” Vanessa looked at me with that expression that said, Oh please Goldie shut up don’t make this any worse just say sorry and get this over with.

 I did not want to admit to something I don’t remember doing. I wanted the benefit of the doubt. Ms. Solis looked at me and pointed at our 3-page-written paper pointing to some underlined link from a website that we never gave credit too. There you go that was our mistake, using someone else’s website’ ideas to illustrate our ideas without giving the website credit! Relief came upon my body. This was my “aha” moment. I knew we weren’t that guilty. I explained to Ms. Solis our intentions were never to plagiarize that we had done so unconsciously because we forgot to give the website credit since, we had done our project in a rush. We never had the intentions of making her think the website’s ideas were our ideas. I had said nothing but the truth. I was waiting for Ms. Solis’ answer. It seemed  like years before she could open her mouth and say “Well, okay do you all agree with Goldie’s explanation.?” Vanessa scared to say a word said “Yeah” Freddy said nothing since he did not have a say in this. Ms. Solis said the final words “Okay, since you cannot do the project again, I will deduct your grade for this project from and A to a C+ , things could have gotten worse so all of you are lucky to still be able to graduate on stage. If I would have decided not to meet up to talk to you guys and go straight to the point and fail you three then you guys would be in big trouble because as you guys know with an F in your Economics class you cannot graduate on stage. Thank you ,now go back inside and nothing happened here”

That was unfair. Freddy did not do anything and yet he got credit for the project. He had betrayed us when Ms. Solis questioned us and yet he had gotten away with it. But the ones that really did the work got punished for making a silly mistake. I was mad but I did consider myself lucky because as Ms. Solis had said maybe another teacher would have straight down failed all three of us and then what would I say to my parents? Things were good like this, I thought. What a shame I saved myself from being spotted out as the girl who did not graduate on stage for plagiarizing. Things had not turned out to be the best but at least they were not the worse. I learned not to ever again procrastinate and that whenever I used an outside source even to just illustrate my ideas, to give it the correct credit because I do not want to be accused of plagiarism ever again in my whole life. I had enough in Economics class. From then on I always did the right thing.

Change for the Future

Goldie Barajas

English 1A

10/4/10

Change for the Future

            One of the things that I criticize the most in people is when they exaggerate or create unnecessary drama about insignificant arguments. However, when it came to my own personal experiences with my ex-boyfriends, I was always the one to worsen the arguments by being dramatic. In my past relationships with boys, I noticed that not staying calm and exaggerating about an argument would make the argument worse rather than solving it. I would like my future relationships with boys to be healthier in the way that I can manage to control the dramatic side of me. Therefore, what I wish I could change about myself is the tendency to exaggerate when it comes to arguing with boys, with who I have an emotional bond with, because it triggers stress in me and it hurts the relationship.

            Being dramatic about arguments with my ex-boyfriends was and still is stressful for me. I tend to turn a little argument into a huge one, which causes me to be stressed until I resolve it. When I am stressed it is difficult for me to concentrate and get homework or other tasks done. I feel frustrated and helpless at the fact that I cannot get my tasks done because I am thinking about what is stressing me. I want this cycle to stop because it is not healthy for me when an argument tenses me enough to impede me from accomplishing my daily tasks. Also, stress triggers me to be depressed, which is bad for my emotional health. I do not wish to feel overwhelmed by stress and so this is one of the reasons why I would like to change my tendency to exaggerate about insignificant arguments with boys.

            In addition, the second reason why I would like to change my tendency to aggravate my arguments with boys is that exaggerating hurts my relationship with that significant other. When I turn a little argument into a huge dramatic one instead of creating a strong bond with that person, I create a weak one, which results in me complaining about the relationship. I am the kind of person that likes to feel secure when in a relationship with a boy. If there is a weak bond between that boy and me, then I am not secure enough and being with that person is hurtful for me.

            My relationships with a significant other should be about enjoying one another to the fullest and being able to be happy most of the time. I realized I was not able to have that kind of relationship because of the bad habit I have of being dramatic about arguments too much. I would place unnecessary emphasis on the discussions I had with my ex-boyfriends, to the point where my past relationships were not healthy anymore. I am glad that I know what I wish I could change about myself because this empowers me to change that in my future relationships and keep myself from being constantly hurt and avoid unwanted stress.